Mock Contractions, Pain Stimulus , and Payback

So one of the things we were told was a must after Lamaze class was practicing contractions and the breathing routine that accompanies it. The idea is for the spouse to surprise momma by saying "Contraction Begins" without warning. This signals the start of the coached breathing. There are two types to alternate between, and we're supposed to do 15 each every day and each is supposed to last about 60 seconds.

So far, I've successfully thrown contractions at her in a variety of manners, which has been entertaining to say the least. She's cooking dinner in the kitchen, I sneak up behind "CONTRACTION BEGINS!" - on the verge of falling asleep in bed while watching TV, "CONTRACTION BEGINS!!" - she's on instant messenger at her office, "ctrxn bgns!!" - driving home on the Turnpike *ring* "CONTRACTION BEGINS!!" - I forgot to take the garbage out the night before and now the living area stinks to high hell and she's mad, "CONTRACTION BEGINS!!" - she walks in the door carrying laptop, purse, and food to find me creepily standing ready just inside "CONTRACTION BEGINS!!" *crash *ow!

The best part however is that starting yesterday, we were to introduce a pain stimulus at the start of the fake contraction by squeezing the upper arm as hard as possible. This will evolve into squeezing both arms, then squeezing while she has to grasp an ice cube in one hand, then two hands. This will cause a need to distract herself from the pain, preparing for the real deal.

Well, Beth thought it would be a riot to give me a sinus infection yesterday and then jump on a plane to Indiana this morning for the weekend. Now I've gotta sneeze and snot my way through the next few days while the cats make my tea. Just wait til she walks out of the terminal Sunday night at the airport and I'm waiting by the car with vice grips and a jar of angry bees.

Love you sweetheart!

~Justin