Coffee, Nightmares, and Anger Management

What up. I'm taking a break from eating Oreos and  ice cream, which is my break from watching Overnight Delivery, which is my break from working.

OK, so I have to confess that I was a little like "yeah, yeah, yeah" with all of the comments to the tune of "sleep now while you can" previous to Keller being born. I mean, it's a baby, how hard can it be? He eats, poops, and sleeps, right?

Wrong. This kid fights sleep like it's the plague. He wills himself to squirm and fuss and wriggle out of the warm embrace of slumber. It's almost like it's painful for him. Which in turn means that we've had 6 weeks of the worst sleep of our lives. I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir here with a lot of you, but I just can't get over it. I basically fall asleep long enough to have nightmares of hard drive failure only to be woken by grunting and squealing. This is followed by either a feeding or an hour of rocking, or both. My torn rotator cuff hurts more now than it did during baseball season. When I stopped at Starbucks this morning to order my Red Eye and the inappropriately chipper girl over the intercom said "Good morning", I actually replied "Is it?" While driving, I sometimes contemplate running into a telephone pole so that I can get just enough of a concussion that would allow me a couple pleasant hours of night night. At the gas station, I saw gas over $4.05 and I punched an elderly lady in the face. I held a paperclip in my teeth and then stuck the other end in an outlet just to keep myself awake for an extra hour in the middle of the afternoon. Two days ago Beth says "Justin, when are you coming to bed?" and I said "Who the heck is Justin?"

How much longer? How in God's good name can this kid survive if he burns more calories writhing around than he takes in? Can we hook him up to a generator and power the Southeast part of the US? 

-J